Speaking of Which
by IsThereAGhost
Summary: It's Rukia's birthday! Ichigo/Rukia married with kids. Well, only one kid. One-shot! Don't own Bleach.


**Hope you like it. :D**

Ichigo was standing in his basement, looking around slowly, trying to figure out just where one hides a bunny in a large cage for an entire night.

The bunny, of course, was for Rukia, who was turning… 118? Ichigo's eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to remember. Anyway, tomorrow was January 14th, and the Kurosaki family was throwing one hell of a party for Rukia. Only Byakuya, Renji, and Rangiku were coming from her side of the family, but over 30 people were expected from his. His dad and sisters, and of course, all of their old school friends with their husbands and wives and kids… it was going to be a big thing. Rukia was delighted with it.

Ichigo had to make sure he got her something special. You don't turn 118 every day, after all. So he had gotten her something she had begged for- a bunny. A small one, yes, but a bunny all the same. Now, Ichigo was faced with the issue of where to hide it in the basement. It had to be in the basement, because that was the only part of their house Rukia _never _dared to go inside or clean up.

Childish though it was, she was _afraid _of the basement. Since she didn't work, Rukia had become quite good of taking care of the entire house- leaving only the basement to Ichigo. Which was fine with him. He looked wearily at the creature in the cage, cuddled in the wood shavings, fast asleep.

'_Where the hell am I going to put it?' _He needed to hurry, before Rukia called him to lunch. Looking around the room again, he saw a flash of bright orange hair by the door. He knew exactly what it was.

"Okay, Issun, come on out." Ichigo smirked as his son came out from behind the basement door, looking up at him with wide eyes. Unlike Rukia, Issun loved the basement and went there very often to explore.

Issun was four years old, and he looked _exactly _like his father, from his orange hair to his light brown eyes. No trace of Rukia was in his face, a fact which annoyed her sometimes. Although he may have looked like Ichigo, he was the exact opposite of his father in personality. He was calm, shy, quiet, and very patient. He loved his father, but Issun adored Rukia more than anybody on the earth.

"Daddy, why do you have a rabbit in that cage?" Ichigo put the cage down, walking over to his son to pick him up. Issun immediately rested his head on his dad's shoulder, in the way that all small children do. Ichigo smoothed his son's hair back, nervously looking at the door before he answered quietly.

"It's a present for mommy, okay? Don't tell her, it's a big surprise." Issun immediately lifted his head up, eyes wide at the new information. "Surprise?" Ichigo nodded, glad that his son understood. He set him down carefully, picking up the cage again. "Now, go upstairs and tell mommy I'll be there really soon…"

Issun nodded, scrambling up the stairs to find his mother. "MOMMY! DADDY SAID TO KEEP A SECRET FROM YOU AND I CAN'T TELL YOU! HA HA!" Ichigo shook his head slowly. His son really was a piece of work…

_**The Next Day, During the Party…**_

Orihime picked up Issun carefully, blushing a bit when he laid his small head on her chest. All children seemed to have a thing for her chest. "Your son is so beautiful, Rukia. Just yesterday he was a newborn, and now he's so big." Rukia smiled at Orihime thankfully. "Thank you, he is getting much bigger now. And looking more like his father every day." Issun lifted his head, gently pulling on a lock of Orihime's hair. "You're pretty," he informed her in a dry voice, almost like he was commenting on the weather.

Before Orihime could reply, Renji walked over, putting his arm possessively around her waist. "Hey, Rukia. Nice kid." Rukia smirked at him, reaching forward to take Issun out of Orihime's arms. "Thanks Renji." She poked her tongue out at him, walking away quickly to find someone else to talk to.

Rukia walked pass Yoruichi, who hugged her furiously, not minding the child in her arms at all. "Happy birthday, Rukia! You're getting kind of old, huh?" Yoruichi smiled at her widely, ruffling Issun's hair.

Rukia nodded, not answering since Kiskue was sneaking up behind Yoruichi. He grabbed her by the shoulder, causing Yoruichi to jump and smack him. He laughed deviously, grabbing her hand and turning to Rukia. "Happy birthday, Kuchiki. I think you'll enjoy my present… oh, Ichigo wants you, by the way."

"THERE you are!" Ichigo rushed in the room, a large… box in hand? It was covered with a cloth, decorated with carrots. "Ichigo," Rukia asked in confusion, "What is that… thing? " Ichigo grinned, and then threw off the cloth. Rukia looked at it in surprise, taking in the small bunny with black fur and bright green eyes. "EEEEE!" Rukia practically _threw _Issun at Yoruichi, immediately pulling the bunny out of the cage and hugging it tightly to her chest. "Thank you, Ichigo. It's the best thing ever! Really!"

Everyone in the room laughed at her reaction, but she didn't care. She was cooing to the little bunny, holding it up to her face adoringly. Renji dragged Orihime across the room, pausing next to Ichigo. "Looks like you'll be getting some tonight." He chuckled suggestively, eyeing Rukia, who was now showing her new found joy in life to her son. Issun seemed to be indifferent to the small animal.

"Shut up, Renji. Oh, hi, Orihime, how are you and your idiot of a boyfriend?" "We're just fine, thanks, Ichigo." She smiled levelly at Ichigo, who internally sighed with relief that Renji seemed to have cured the massive crush she had on him when they were kids. Everyone kept pressuring him to pop the question, but Renji and Orihime seemed content with just staying together as a couple than married.

Ichigo turned his attention back to Rukia, who was now talking to Chad and Tatsuki. Issun was cradled awkwardly in Tatsuki's arms. Chad, seeing her dismay, swooped Issun out of her arms, and placed him on his shoulders, making the kid squeal in delight. Like his mother, he loved heights.

Ichigo stood next to Rukia, grinning at Tatsuki. "Still don't know how to handle a kid, huh? You've been married to Chad for two years; you should at least have _one _by now, right?" Tatsuki glared at him, wrapping her arms around Chad to keep herself from punching Ichigo. "Whatever. You know I don't like kids. And Chad is fine with keeping it like that." Chad nodded in agreement, putting Issun down carefully. "Anything to make her happy." Ichigo raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

Because when they were kids, Chad had _told _Ichigo that he did want kids. Well, whatever. It's his life. "Rukia, we probably need to get this kid to sleep. It's almost ten." Rukia pouted, but then nodded.

**That Night, After the Party**

"Did you see my brother and Rangiku? When did _that _happen?" Ichigo shook his head, trying to imagine Byakuya and Rangiku as a couple. "Don't know. But my sisters and old man seem to be okay. You know Issun got a kick out of seeing grandpa… for the eighth time this month." For some reason, Issun loved Isshin almost as much as his parents. Maybe because he was named for his grandpa, he loved him a lot.

Just then, the telephone rang. Rukia picked it up quickly, expecting to hear more birthday wishes. Instead, she winced as if she her ears hurt. "Who is it?" Rukia handed Ichigo the phone. "ICHIGO KUROSAKI, YOU JINXED ME, YOU ASSHOLE!" Ichigo held the phone away from his ear; Tatsuki's screaming voice could still be heard. "Whoa, whoa, hold up. What did I do, Tatsuki?" Tatsuki growled softly, but lowered her voice to explain. "I come home with Chad like always. Yoruichi and Kiskue came too, because, you know, they're close friends of Chad and me… anyway, I was complaining that I had been feeling funny, and Yoruichi pointed out that it sounded like I might be pregnant and then…"

There was a pause, and Ichigo listened in shock at Tatsuki's loud panting on the other end. "So… are you…?" "YES! AND IT'S YOUR ENTIRE FAULT, FOR WHAT YOU SAID AT THAT DAMN PARTY TODAY! IF YOU HADN'T SAID THAT, THEN THIS-" Ichigo laughed, interrupting her. "I can't control what you and Chad do-" "UG!" With that final growl of anger, Tatsuki hung up, leaving Ichigo laughing his ass off.

"What happened?" Rukia asked her laughing husband. "Tatsuki is pregnant. Chad must be delighted." Rukia considered this for a moment, and then moved to sit on Ichigo's stomach, surprising him. "Speaking of pregnant…"

**HA! I know Orihime/Renji and Chad/Tatsuki, Byakuya/Rangiku are really odd parings, but I adore them. Enjoy!**


End file.
